What if They Don’t Forgive?

Romans 3:23 tells us, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Sin affects our relationship with God, but it also affects our relationships with one another. Fortunately God’s word tells us what to do when sin messes up our relationships. For example, Matthew 18:15-17 explains: "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. "But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.” (NKJV)

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If a brother sins against you and they realize they are wrong and ask for forgiveness, then the relationship can be restored. We see in Matthew 18:17 that if they do not listen then the relationship is not restored, but at least the attempt was made. But what happens if a person is confronted and realizes they have sinned, but the one they have sinned against refuses to accept their apology? Later in Matthew 18, Peter askes, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” (Verse 21). In verse 22, Jesus answers, “ I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” In other words, instead of keeping track of how often you have forgiven your brother, just forgive him.
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But what happens when you realize that you have sinned against someone else and you ask for forgiveness but they are not willing to forgive you? Jesus was very firm in His answer concerning this when He said in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” The context of this passage as well as the parallel passage in Mark is prayer. Though unforgiveness does not cause us to lose our salvation, it does keep us from close fellowship with God.
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We must also realize that when someone else refuses to forgive us, that cannot keep us out of heaven nor can it keep us from having the right relationship with God. It does however, keep us from being close to them. If we have confessed our sin to them and asked for forgiveness and they refuse to give it, then they are the ones in the wrong, not us. I know it hurts when someone refuses to forgive, but we must understand that even if a person refuses to forgive us, God will not withhold forgiveness. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Even if the people around us refuse to forgive, God still forgives when we humble ourselves before Him and admit our sin. Let us remember that He is the one that really matters when it comes to forgiveness of sin.
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We still must humble ourselves before our fellow man and ask forgiveness when we have sinned, but realize that some people are too sinful themselves to forgive us. As sad as that is, we must take comfort in the realization that even if people will not forgive us, God will. I am so thankful that even though we have a just God who must punish sin, He is also a loving merciful God who will forgive sin. In fact, He sent His son to die on the cross to make the payment that we could not pay so that our sin could be paid for once for all. As we remember Christ’s resurrection, let us also remember God’s forgiveness if we believe on Jesus as our Lord and Savior.