Learning The Child's Language

Greek and Hebrew are not the only languages I struggle with. Lately I have been challenged with “toddler talk.” Our son Jared is learning how to speak, and it is fun trying to interpret his words. Dad is Daaee, Mom is Maee, and A.J. is Zae. One of his most used words though is “snack,” or as he says it, “sna.” A.J. can’t talk yet other than saying “mumma” or “daad.”
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It is interesting how closely their language is tied to food. Not only am I learning baby talk, but I am learning what it takes to feed a couple of growing boys. Jared has gotten big enough that he can explore on his own, and often his exploits involve a hunt for a “sna.” We do not want him just rummaging through the cupboards unsupervised, so we have instructed him to ask for a snack instead of just taking it. Now he goes around pointing and saying, “wat sem” (want some).
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He still cannot say apple, but knows the word ball, so if he wants an apple he will point at the fruit basket and ask for a “bau.” He has also learned that if he scoots his stool up by the counter, he can reach the apples himself but has been told not to take them without asking. He gets scolded if he grabs one without permission. Today I caught him doing something new. Instead of actually touching the apple in the basket with his hand, he was leaning over the basket attempting to eat the apple without holding on to it.
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I must admit that it was quite clever for a two year old, but he got in trouble anyway. As I reflect on this little incident, I realize how much adults are just like two year olds. How often don’t we try to get around the clear commands of God. It was also a reminder of how important it is to work hard at training our boys to in obedience. The first word we trained them to understand was “NO”. We did this by touching their hands firmly when they reached for something off limits and repeating the word, “no”.
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Child training is hard work. We only have two, but I am already finding how different each one is. What worked for the one may not work for the other. We can read child training books or talk to others and find out what worked perfectly for them, but it may not work for our child.
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Regardless, I know that I cannot give in to their every whim. If I do, they will learn to blackmail us simply by throwing a tantrum. I have heard of parents giving into their children simply to avoid a conflict. That is a mistake. If you do not stop doing that when they are still infants, do not be surprised if you find them laying on the floor at Wal-Mart kicking and screaming until they get the toy they want.
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Scripture is very clear about this. “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” (Proverbs 19:18). “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.” (Proverbs 29:17)
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It is sad when children become so unruly that they are no longer a delight to their parents. Often parents neglect to say “no” when the children are still babies, and then end up yelling and screaming at them when they are older. By this time the child has already learned to manipulate and often just tunes the parent out.
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There are times we need to yell. For example if the child is ready to touch a hot stove. But yelling usually just trains children that losing their temper is okay. Instead, we must calmly take the time to train and develop godly behavior in the child, both by leading and example. Spanking must also be an option. “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” (Proverbs 13:24) The problem with spanking is that many do not understand the difference between a physical reprimand meant to train and an actual beating. A Biblical spanking is done in love in order to train. It must be done calmly and not in anger, and generally once the child is trained spankings are rare. A parent who beats their child because they are embarrassed or inconvenienced needs to repent of their abusive sin.
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Child training is hard work, but it yields lasting rewards. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)